Funny sarcastic quotes about life

 120+ Funny sarcastic quotes about life Lessons

 Funny sarcastic quotes about life lessons. Funny sarcastic inspirational quotes about life and individuals. Here are the best sarcastic quotes to peruse from renowned individuals that will make you think and rouse you simultaneously.

Here is a collection of more than 120 funny sarcastic quotes about life lessons. Don’t forget to share these sarcastic quotes about life lessons with your friends and families. Also, you can share these sarcastic quotes about life on your social media profiles.

Getting a sarcastic remark from others sometimes sneaks up suddenly, however, don't take it adversely, rather utilize that for your potential benefit for developing yourself.

May these funny sarcastic quotes about life assist you with taking care of analysis in a delicate manner, develop a positive mentality that will make you grin en route. Offer these sarcastic quotes about life lessons with your companions, family, and friends and, family to move them also.

 Sarcastic Quotes Images

Here is the collection of sarcastic quotes images. Don't forget to share these sarcastic quotes images about life with your friends and families. Also, you can share these funny sarcastic quotes about life lessons on your social media timelines. 

1. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”

2. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” - John Wayne

3. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” - A. A. Milne

4. “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.” - Woody Allen

5. “If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”

6. “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”

7. “The road to success is always under construction.” - Lily Tomlin

 

8. “If you must make a noise, make it quietly.” - Oliver Hardy

9. “If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?” - Jerry Seinfeld

10. “Tell me, is being stupid a profession, or are you just gifted?” – Anonymous

11. “I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.” - Mitch Hedberg

12. “Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.” – Anonymous

13. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” - Anonymous

14. “Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too.” - Anonymous

15. “If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.” - Mitch Hedberg

16. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” - Ashleigh Brilliant

17. “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.” - Anonymous

18. “An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough.” - Anonymous

19. “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.” - Anonymous

20. “When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.” - Rodney Dangerfield

Funny sarcastic quotes about life Lessons

Here is the collection of funny sarcastic quotes about life lessons. Don't forget to share these funny sarcastic quotes about life with your friends and families. 

1. “Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.” - Woody Allen
2. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” - Steven Wright
3. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” - Al McGuire
4. “A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s because she changes it more often.” - Oliver Herford
5.  “Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?” - John Barrymore
6. “A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.” - Steven Wright
7. “The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.” - Gore Vidal
8. “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” - Zsa Zsa Gabor
9. “Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.” Robin Williams, Actor
10. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” Steven Wright
11. “What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k's instead of ‘ok’?” - Anonymous
12. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” - Billy Wilder
13. “Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.” - Walter Kerr
14. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.” - Anonymous
15. “There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.” - Anonymous
16. “You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going because you might not get there.” - Yogi Berra
17. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” - Winston Churchill
18. “A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself and hates them for it.” - George Bernard Shaw
19. “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same things, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” - William James
20. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers
21. “I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.” - Rodney Dangerfield
22. “That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.” - George Carlin
23. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” - Will Rogers
24. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.” - Anonymous
25. “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.” - Billy Sunday
26. “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.” - Walter Matthau
27. “Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” - Will Rogers
28. “If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” - W. C. Fields
29. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.” - Anonymous
30. “If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.” - Anonymous
31. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.” - Anonymous
32. “When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” - Sydney J. Harris
33. “I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.” - Lily Tomlin
34. “When one door closes, another opens. Or you can open the closed door. That’s how doors work.” – Anonymous
35.  “A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” - Steven Wright
36. “They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.” - Clint Eastwood
37. “Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.” - Steve Irwin
38. “Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” - W. C. Fields
39. “Folks, I don’t trust children. They’re here to replace us.” - Stephen Colbert
40. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” - Oscar Wilde
41. “It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance.” - Thomas Sowell
42. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -​ Kin Hubbard
43. “Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.” - Bill Murray
44. “Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” - Katharine Hepburn
45. “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.” - Anonymous
46. “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” - Winston Churchill
47. “The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.” - Bill Murray
48. “I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways.” - Anonymous
49. “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” - Henny Youngman
50. “If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.” - Theodore Roosevelt
51. “A woman is like a teabag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
52. “I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.” - Woody Allen
53. “If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel.” - Anonymous
54. “It’s amazing how you can have to worst day ever, but still, laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull.” – Anonymous

Short Sarcastic quotes about life

Here is a collection of short sarcastic quotes about life. Don't forget to share these short sarcastic quotes with your friends and families. 

1. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.” – Sarcastic quote
2. “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.” – Sarcastic quote
3. “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” – Sarcastic quote
4. “Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.” – Sarcastic quote
5. “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.” – Sarcastic quote
6. “Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.” – Sarcastic quote
7. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide your absence.” Ashleigh Brilliant
8. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.” – Sarcastic quote
9. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” Robin Williams, Actor
10. “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.” – Sarcastic quote
11. “When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like ‘East.'” – Sarcastic quote
12. “The stuff you heard about me is a lie. I’m way worse.” – Sarcastic quote
13. “Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.” – Sarcastic quote
14. “Marriage. Because your crappy day doesn’t have to end at work.” – Sarcastic quote
15. “How much better would it be if a liar’s pants really did catch on fire?”  – Sarcastic quote
16. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.” – Sarcastic quote
17. “Fun fact: Alcohol increases the size of the ‘send’ button by 89%.”
18. “I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I go normal from time to time.”
19. “I don’t keep secrets, I just keep people out of my business.”
20. “I don’t have a welcome mat at my door because I’m not a liar.”
21. “Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.” – Sarcastic quote
22. “I’ll get over it. I just need to be dramatic first.” – Sarcastic quote
23. “Lead me not into temptation. I know the way.” – Sarcastic quote
24. “Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.” – Sarcastic quote
25. “You’re everything I want in someone I don’t want anymore.” – Sarcastic quote
26. “If they act like they can live without you… Help them do it.”
27. “Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.” – Sarcastic quote
28. “Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.”
29. “Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.”
30. “You play the victim. I’ll play the disinterested bystander.”
31. “My neighbors listen to good music whether they like it or not.”
32. “Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch me in the face.”
33. “I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.” – Sarcastic quote
34. “I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.” – Sarcastic quote
35. “Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”
36. “It’s amazing how clean my house can get when I’m pissed off.”
37. “I don’t fall asleep. I overthink myself into a coma.” – Sarcastic quote
38. “If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.” – Sarcastic quote
39. “My favorite party trick is not going.” – Sarcastic quote
40. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.” – Sarcastic quote
41. “Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!” Groucho Marx
42. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
43. “Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!” – Sarcastic quote
44. “Some people really suck. Avoid them.” – Sarcastic quote
45. “Sorry… to have met you.” – Sarcastic quote
46. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet.”
47. “Back in my day, people used to take photos with other people in them.”
48. “My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.”
49. “My circle is so small, I almost cut myself off.” – Sarcastic quote

What was your favorite sarcastic quote from the above funny sarcastic quotes about life lessons?

They say sarcasm shows weakness, yet who gives a poop their opinion?! While some may imagine that sarcasm is a tricky slant, others accept that sarcasm is really an indication of acumen. All things considered, it was Oscar Wilde expressed, "Sarcasm is the least type of mind however the most elevated type of knowledge."

If you have any other funny sarcastic quotes about life lessons shared them with us in the comment box.

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